rheCreati^e^oman
Quarterly
WOMEN ACROSS CULTURES
A Symposium on Sex Roles and Communication
WINTER 1979
CHIAO(Chinese) -The Dragon of the Marches
Good Fortune
TABLE OF CONTENTS
To Readers: An Introduction
Voting V. KJjm f Gu<U>t FdLton.
WOMEN SPEAK OUT IN PAPUA NEW GUIMFA
Uobtzza C. Aiunc-Lon-Lande.
WOMEN IN FAR EAST ASIA: CULTURAL
NORMS AND COMMUNICATION PATTERNS
Voting V. Kim
MALE/FEMALE COMMUNICATION IN THE
UNITED STATES
Gcul M. St, HarvUn
MALE/FEMALE COMMUNICATION IN
WEST GERMANY
JLtuka. Votw.
[Page A
5-6
7-13
74-22
23-27
2S'-32
33-3%
AMERICAN INDIAN WOMEN: PROBLEMS
OF COMMUNICATING A CULTURAL/ SEXUAL IDENTITY
CIoml Sue KldtvelZ
From the Editor's Flight Cabin 39
WoZzn Hughe*
<su
HEBE (Greek) -JUVENTAS (Roman)
Goddess of Youth
FUTURE ISSUES :
Spring 1979: FEMINIST SCHOLARSHIP— AN INTELLECTUAL
CRITIQUE OF BEHAVIORAL SCIENCE AND THE HUMANITIES.
This issue will be devoted to review articles
summarizing the feminist critique of scholarship
in many fields.
Guest Editor: HARRIET GROSS, Governor's State
University, Park Forest South, Illinois. 60466
Summer 1979: POLITICS AMD THE STUDY OF POLITICS,
(women in political theory, government, administration,
publ ic af fa irs)
Guest Editor: SARA SHUMER, 2405 McGee Avenue,
Berkeley, California 94703
Readers are invited to submit articles, reviews,
photographs, cartoons, poetry on either topic to
the guest editor or to the editorial office at
Governor's State University.
»l!fl[j5)g©[?D[o)<§
Please send me The Creative Woman for one year. Enclosed is my check or money order
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$ 5.00 regular subscription Return to: The Creative Woman
| 7.00 foreign subscription Governors State University
$10.00+ donation and automatic subscription Park Forest South, IL 60466
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A quarterly, Governors State University, Park Forest South, IL 1 80466.
VOL 2. NO 3. WINTER 1979
A quarterly published at Governors State University under the auspices of the Provost's Office 1 978, Governors State University and Helen Hughes
STAFf-
Helen E. Hughes, Editor
Lynn Thomas Strauss, Editorial Assistant
Joan Lewis, Editorial Consultant
Suzanne Oliver, Graphic Designer
GUEST EDITOR
Young Y. Kim
ADVISORY COUNCIL
Donna Bandstra, Social Sciences
Rev. Ellen Dohner, Religion
Rita Durant, League ol American Penwomen
Harriet Gross, Sociology/ Women's Studies
Helene Guttman, Biological Sciences
Mimi Kaplan, Library Resources
Shirley Katz, Music/Literature
Young Kim, Communications Science
Harriet Marcus, Journalism
Betye Saar, Fine Arts
Marjorie Sharp, Human Relations Services
Sara Shumer, Political Theory
Emily Wasiolek, Literature
TO READERS: AN INTRODUCTION
Many people cone to the women's movement out of
disillusionment with the present division of sex roles
in society. Yet many of the women, in essential agree-
ment about what is wrong, disagree about the remedy for
the perceived injustices.
Some women take on what some consider men's roles —
aggression, competitiveness, and assert iveness. Others
would not play "the man's game," refusing to play by
traditional rules. They would rather claim that to be female
is to be emotional, intuitive, and nurturant, and that
society has to treat women equally as they are. Still others
would drop all mentions of sex roles and gender assignment and
work toward some alternatives to traditional sex roles.
What course of action one may take should, ultimately,
be a matter of individual choice. In this issue of The
Creative Woman, I am presenting five articles dealing with
women's sex roles, and the ways women deal with such roles
through communication in five different cultures. The articles
were originally presented at recent professional conferences,
and the authors have kindly revised their original papers
into a less technical style and format.
The first article, WOMEN SPEAK OUT IN PAPUA NEW GUINEA,
offers useful comparative information on the emergence of
a women's rights movement in that society. The historical,
economic, and cultural factors that interfere with the
movement are discussed.
The second article, WOMEN IN FAR EAST ASIA,
illustrates major characteristics of women in three
Asian countries — China, Japan, and Korea. Women's roles
are described in relation to men's roles; the inter-
action of both sets of roles and communication patterns
are presented in the context of the societal structure.
The third article, MALE/FEMALE COMMUNICATION IN
THE UNITED STATES, reports up-to-date social science
research dealing with the characteristics of communi-
cation behaviors of American men and women. The article
discusses not only the societal norms and sex differences
but also why such differences exist.
The fourth article, MALE/FEMALE COMMUNICATION IN
WEST GERMANY, deals with the historical and cultural
factors for communication behaviors of men and women in
West Germany. The communication behaviors are discussed in
terms of specific settings — such as during courtship,
in the home, and between professional men and women.
The fifth article, AMERICAN INDIAN WOMEN, points
out the dynamics of social change and its impact
on the lives of American Indians, particularly American
Indian women. The article provides an analysis of the
communication strategies and the dilemmas of American
Indian women in coping with social change in the larger
American society.
All these articles combine to illustrate the notion that
communication between women and men within the same society
may be a form of cross-cultural communicat ion.
I sincerely hope that these articles will help the
readers broaden their perspectives on women and reflect
on their choices for future actions,,
by Voung V a Kim
VICTORIA (Roman) -The Victory
Remote jo-lning LlniveAAity o& KanAaA,
Vk KMincJjon-Landt had necjuvcd /ie/t
?h V at IMjchlgan State LlntvcAAity and
taught at Vale., SUNV-Neu) VaZtz, and
(Jo o& HouxlIIo She aj> moit active, in
ptiofeAilonaZ aA&ociatLonA o& Apecch-
commu.ntcatLon CuAAcntty 6hc iA piepaA-
ing manu6cAlpt& fox boofii dcaltng v)Ajtk
commanAjcatlon, identity, and &oc<LaZ-
p6yc.hoZ.OQAjc.aZ. Integration of, minofvity
Qfiowpbo
WOMEN SPEAK OUT IN PAPUA NEW GUINEA
by fJobZeza C. k&ancton-Lande
The government of the newly independent country
of Papua New Guinea, in its "Government Eight Point
Improvement Plan" for national development, included
a commitment for the "rapid increase in equal and active
participation of women in all forms of economic and
social activity. "(1 ) This concern for women's partici-
pation in the development strategy of the government is
a recognition that "women make a very important
contribution to subsistence production, but have so
far had little involvement in money raising activities. "(2)
It is also an official acknowledgement that "women
represent only a very small minority of wage employees,
and that this situation will continue while males
outnumber females at all levels of the education system. "(3)
Almost a decade has passed since the formulation
of the "Government Eight Point Improvement Plan." Yet,
very little progress appears to have taken place in the status
of women in Papua New Guinea society vis a vis men in spite
of the government's avowed commitment to this goal. Perhaps
the nature of male/female communication should be explored
to determine whether the patterns of communication in
Papua New Guinean society have contributed to the subordinate
status of women. Can such patterns be changed to facilitate
women's active participation in the country's national
development? There are new developments in women's
organizational activities which are helping to channel
women's energies toward implementation of the seventh
point of the "Government Eight Point Improvement Plan",
which refers to women.
Women* & RoZe in TRacUttonaZ CuZtuneA
Although mainly traditional, Papua New Guinean
society does not have a homogeneous culture. This
is a developing country with a subsistence economy
and a large army of unemployed. This country contains
many small Isolated groups, each possessing a different
social structure, a divergent pattern of organization,
a distinct system of beliefs and practices, a separate
language and a multifarious position in the national
scale of development. Thus, generalizations about
Papua New Guinean society are difficult. Nevertheless,
while differences among the tribal groups appear to be
overwhelming, some common features are discernible
in male/female interactions. Striking characteristic patterns
of male/female interactions can be observed in child rearing
practices, initiation rites, and courtship and marriage customs,
In the traditional small societies of Papua New Guinea,
male and female roles are strictly defined. The main
roles of women are those of mother, w ife and tender of
the family plots. Men's primary roles are those of hunter,
fighter and protector of the village. The division of
labor effectively reflects these role prescriptions:
men are expected to do most of the heavy and dangerous
work; while the women do routine and daily tasks related
to the normal existence and subsistence of the family.
Infant care in much of Papua New Guinea society is left
largely to the mother. There is a strong belief in
many cultural groups, especially in the Highlands area,
that contact with the blood shed in childbirth and thought
to still cling to the newborn child from a few days to weeks,
is potentially dangerous to masculinity. Also prevailing is
a belief that it is degrading for men to carry babies or be
soiled by them. On the other hand, women feel that men are
not to be trusted to take proper care of infants.
Infants are usually treated in almost identical
fashion regardless of sex. However, when children are
about five years old, they begin to show an appreciation
of role differentiation. (4) Girls are gradually
Introduced to household chores and garden work by helping
their mothers, while the boys continue to play with
other boys. By about the age of nine, girls are already
established in "woman's work", while boys still may
carry on playful activities till adolescence.
In the Highlands and the Sepik river areas,
especially, women are believed to possess a supernatural
power during their menstrual period and when giving
birth, different from and opposed to the power that
men acquire in performing their rituals. Thus,
male/female relationships, especially in the Highlands
are tinged with tension and hostility making communication
difficult. In other regions these relationships are
also fraught with strain, especially in the matri lineal
societies where a husband may be at an economic disadvan-
tage vis a vis his wife's kin. The more modern sectors of
society reflect tension in male/female relationships
with the difficulties that women have in communicating
their aspirations and frustrations. In spite of Prime
Minister Somare's statement that "...it was possible to make
8
men understand the problems and frustrations of
womenfolk," (5) many of the best educated men find it hard
to accept, or even listen to the women's demands for a
change in status. This probably accounts for the rather
low priority given by the government to the seventh point
of the "Government Eight Point Improvement Plan".
Male initiation rites, from which women are banned
emphasize the value of male superiority and the community
of male interests. In some areas, the function of the ritual
is to "cleanse the polluting effects of past feminine
contact. "(6) The women too, have initiation rites mostly
connected with a girl's first menstrual period. It marks a
new stage in her development- she is now fit to become a
wife and mother. Essentially, it is a confirmation of
her new status in the community. There have also been
rituals in which males and females both participate.
But while boys went through the full rites and were taught
the significance and the secrets of the rituals, the
girls were given a modified version and spared the
physical ordeal. Subsequently, they could not act as
initiators. Modernizing European influence, notably
through religious missions and the colonial administrations
have affected but not eliminated the practice of these
rituals.
Despite the tensions marking male/female
interactions, people do get married. They marry
as in the world over for interpersonal attraction,
sex, desire for children, economic advancement,
power and alliances, and maturity status. But
more compelling in Papua New Guinea is that "there
is no recognized role for bachelors and spinsters...",
it is inconceivable for anyone not to want to get married. (7)
Courtship practices, marriage arrangements and patterns
of marital relations are influenced by a number of
factors correlated with certain cultural areas. In
many costal and island regions courtship of young couples
takes place in a setting where a good deal of pre-marital
sex is allowed, or at least tolerated. In the Highlands,
pre-marital sex tends to be frowned upon, an attitude derived
from the notion of dangerous female impurity. (8)
Certain features however, appear to be common
among the cultural areas. Most significant is the
"bride price," or "bride wealth" and is defined as
the reciprocal exchange of goods or cash by one kin
group to another kin group. Its function is to restore
the balance of exchange, with the gainers of brides
compensating the losers of daughters in conformity with
general principles of economic reciprocity. (9) The
custom appears to be rooted in the cultural practice
of establishing and maintaining social relationships
by the exchange of essential and material goods.
Commodities exchanged usually include the valuables
of a particular community. The gifts are collected
among the relatives as a way of showing sol idarity
and cooperation. Thus, a traditional marriage
arrangement involves not only the couple but their
kinship groups as well. Everyone has a stake in the
success of the marriage,. The amount or quantity of
payment is influenced by the desirability of the
bride and the social status of the contracting parties.
It is often a matter of pride to both sides that the
highest possible price should be paid. This custom,
steeped in tradition, persists to the present in
spite of the efforts of Christian missions to eliminate it,
And while such a custom remains, the marital relationship
retains much of its traditional flavor, especially
affecting the status of women,,
Womzn and Education
Papua New Guinean society is still largely
prel iterate,, Less than 30 percent of its approximately
two and one half million people were listed in 1971
as being I iterate,, (10) Less than one third of the
literate are women. Parents are reluctant to send
their daughters to the schools, a factor that may account
for this lower level of literacy among women. As
already noted, girls begin at an early age helping
their mothers with daily household tasks. Thus,
while boys are free to attend school, girls must remain
at home and work. Boys ages 6 to 10 are rarely
forced to work. Even in the modernizing sectors,
mothers still have misgivings about allowing their
daughters to attend higher institutions of learning.
They fear that as their daughters leave home and
inevitably learn new ways, traditional customs will
be forgotten leading to a culture clash between mothers
and daughters. One of the many proposals strongly
supported by the women at their national convention
was "setting up committees in each district to educate
parents to allow their daughters to go to school and
continue advancing themselves at a I I levels. "(11)
Nevertheless, some women have served as articulate
champions of women's rights. A small number received
their higher education abroad, sent there by the
Australian authorities when no higher education was
obtainable in Papua New Guinea. These women command
attention because, in a country where there are a
very few educated persons of either sex, their education
gives them a claim to public attention despite their
sex. This elite group of women is joined by an equally
small number of relatively young women from the first
classes of the Administrative College. This institution
was established by Australian colonial authorities in
1964 when it became clear that the country would have
to be given independence and that a national higher
civil service should be created quickly. When Papua New
Guineans took control of the country's government, these
women had to be given positions of some importance in the
public service. And a number of them subsequently were
elected to parliament. They have become effective
10
spokeswomen since they are able to work within^The
power structure,,
Outside this elite circle is another group:
women with some education but without high positions,.
They speak out through the mass media, in particular
by writing letters to the editor of the Post Courier,
the only English language newspaper of nation-wide
distribution, and to Wantok, the only nation-wide
newspaper in Pidgin. It is quite clear that education
has achieved the most significant change in the lives
of women. As they become more educated, women are
speaking out more aggressively about their determination
to achieve equal participation in national development.
They are not only writing letters to newspaper editors,
but are also staging protest marches and demonstat ions
in order to be seen and to be heard as an organized force.
Communication
The multiplicity of Papua New Guinea languages
has contributed to communication difficulties which,
from the start, have plagued women's efforts to unite
for their common good. When the women are able to
assemble as in the yearly national conventions of
Papua New Guinea women, they must resort to an alien
language, such as English at their first convention
in 1975, and to a quasi lingua franca such as Pidgin
at their second national convention in 1976, These
two languages, the latter spoken by a relatively wide
section of the urban population, the former spoken
mainly by the educated elite, are not commonly
understood by the mass of citizens in the villages.
Thus the needs or the voices of most women, especially
from the hinterlands, are not often heard. Also
complicating the problem of unity is the presence
of another quasi lingua franca, Motu, spoken largely
by the Papuans. As personally observed during a
recent field trip to Papua New Guinea, even if a Papuan
is able to understand Pidgin, he/she may deny that
fact. Thus linguistic loyalty (coupled with historical
division of sectors) has been another impediment
to the nationwide cooperation of women to advance
common goa I s .
Papua New Guinean geography greatly affects
patterns of communication between different localities.
Mountains rise steeply, producing terrain extremely
difficult to traverse, isolating groups from each
other and breeding fear and distrust of strangers.
This situation, as well as the linguistic fragmentation
of the country have proved to be formidable barriers
to human communication. No wonder that when the women
are finally brought together through government sponsored
village women's group meetings, some time is needed before
barriers are lowered and real communication ah^" 4 -
common problems occurs.
11
New Ve.veZopme.ntl>
The weight of tradition has slowed the advancement
of women's status ?n Papua New Guinea, but has not
completely stopped women from improving their condition.
The most dramatic development within the past two
years concerning the women's movement has been at
the village level, where traditionally women have
little say even in the conduct of their own affairs.
Village women's groups have been organized by the
government to involve women in community development
affairs. For the first time in their lives, women
from different cultural groups have met to discover
common problems and decide their priorities. (12)
Village women's groups were created to foster better
relationships among women, especially between the
old traditionally-minded and the young modernizing women
with some schooling; and to increase the women's
participation in the development of their communities;
and to encourage cooperative work in running their
own affairs. The women's groups also serve as
communication networks, disseminating information
about new practices and new alternatives to traditional
roles that can enrich the women themselves as well as
their communities. They also serve as conduits of
information between the office of the Prime Minister
and the vi I lage.
Over 700 women's clubs are scattered throughout
the country. (13) These clubs are administered by
the Local Government Councils, under the jurisdiction
of the Office of the Provincial Commissioner in each
district. Through these clubs, women are becoming more
aware of their responsibilities as citizens of their
country. They are not only taking a larger part in
decision making and in the planning of the development
of their communities, but they are also telling the
men what to do or say in such matters.
It seems clear that it is not part of Papua New
Guinean tradition for women to speak out for equal
rights. Their ability to do so now is largely the
result of foreign influences, including the opportun-
ities and encouragement received from their colonizers
who still are present in large numbers in key positions
and who still exercise considerable influence in the
country. What will happen when foreigners cease to
exercise influence remains an interesting question. But
the future does not appear to be bleak. The present
government is committed to improving the women's
condition; more and more women are now receiving an
education and are becoming more outspoken in their
demands. This is likely to maintain the present
momentum. The march of Papua New Guinea women toward
progress will continue, and the gains already made
are irreversible.
12
MOTFS/RFFEREMCFS
(1) Central Planning Office, by authority ot^the
National Planning Committee, "The Post Independence
National Development Strategy-Papua New Guinea,
White Paper." Waigani, P.N.G.: Central Planning
Office, 1976, (October) p. 15
, r / Ibid, p. 162, also Hastings, p. 15
(5) Boden, Delma, "Report on the First National Convention
of Papua New Guinean Women, 1975," (unpublished) p. 5
(6) See Ryan, Encyc I oped ? a p . 556
(7) Ibid, p. 703
(8) Ibid, p. 704
(9) Ibid, p. 705
(10) Bureau of Statistics, Papua New Guinea, "Summary of
Statistics, 1973/75," Port Noresby: Bureau of
Statistics, 1977. pp. 12, 135-141.
(11) Boden, Delma, Report . ..,p. 19
(12) Central Planning Office, "The Post- Independence
National Development Strategy...", p. 10
(13) An interview by the author with the Advisor on
Women's Affairs.
(14) See Ryan, Peter, Encycloped ia . . . .p. 7
(15) See Ryan, Peter, Encyclopedia . ...p. 708-710
Another major reference for background information
about the women's movement in Papua New Guinea and
other areas of the South Pacific is Griffen, Vanessa,
Women Speak Out; A report of the Pacific Women's
Conference, 1975, Suva, Fiji: The Pacific Women's
Conference, 1976.
13
Young V, Kim U> Unlve/ulty VnofeA-
6oi oft Communication Science cut the.
Govennora* State UnlveA6lty She.
finished hen. M.A. at the UnlveAAlty
o^ Hawaii; P/i.P. at floithweAteAn
Unlvesu>lty. The main fiocuA of hen.
teaching and fie.6eah.ch Ia the phoceA*
and effects of communication between
people of, different cultu/iat background*.
WOMEN IN FOR EAST ASIA:
CULTURAL NORMS AND COMMUNICATION PATTERNS
by Young V, Kim
Since the late 19th century and 20th century
when China, Japan and Korea "opened the door" to the
rest of the world, their traditional culture has
gone through a series of changes and modifications.
A flood of Western ideas and material objects entered
into hitherto isolated countries; some were altered
so fundamentally that older forms were discarded.
This was especially true in technology, urbanization
and industrialization. Yet the new influences did not
affect all aspects of the societies equally. In many
areas of life, "traditional" culture and "modern"
culture are found to be flourishing side by side, while
certain basic sanctions of family relationship, religious
life, and status orientations have been altered very
slightly. The centuries of influence of Buddhism and
Confucianism on the three nations' fundamental social
values ind norms still persists in the heart of the
culture. The adoption of Western liberal attitudes
in individual rights and equality is minimal; the
traditional authoritarian and hierachical attitudes still
dominate all major aspects of human relationships,
indluding that of men and women.
As Herskovitz pointed out, "the behavior and belief
of no two individuals is identical" and "whatever we
characterize about one culture or cultural group should
be thought as variables rather than rigidly structured. "(1 )
Thus, my attempt to present a profile of general
cultural norms and communication patterns of the three
groups of women inevitably sacrifices specific details
and uniquenesses of individual groups. Further, many
shades of variation among different regions and social
groups within each society will not be explicitly
d i scussed.
14
In a pictorial essay of Playboy Magazine (1968),
"the girls of the Orient" were depicted a9-"f ragi le,"
"alluring," "warm," sensual," "devoted," and "ivory-
skinned" maidens "dedicated to serving man's slightest
need." The same article also stated that "despite the
rapid spread of Western attitudes, there is little
avidence that the girls of New Asia will be any less
intuitively attentive than their forebears. "(2)
The stereotypical perception of the Asian women by
rhe Western writer closely corresponds with the
JJeDlction of women bv a Japanese poet Hagiwara (1806-1942):
With lips painted lightly pink
And powder smelling white and cool
about the neck hair
Woma n !
Ah, with a sigh so scented,
Don't gaze too closely into my eyes —
Woman!
You are sad,
Because you can never do without them. (3)
The "ideal" feminine traits prescribed by the three
Asian nations are clearly reflected in many popular
stories and movies, "Chunhyangjon" (Chunhyang Tale),
one of the most popular movies in Korea, is a story of
a woman "Chunhyang" whose pure, delicate, and subtle
beauty is widely praised by both men and women of all
ages.
The external fragility and softness of the Asian
women seem to be a consequence of their adaptation to
the male-dominated society. According to an old Japanese
proverb, for instance, the birth of three daughters could
ruin any family's fortune; and until well into the twentieth
century, surplus infants, especially female ones, were
exposed to die. For centuries, women were considered to
disturb the Spartan existence of the Samurai, the
asceticism of the monks, and the discipline of the
scholars. The general tendency to discredit women is
deeply rooted in the teaching of Confucius; women were accounted
to be subversive elements since they were difficult
to govern:
The Master said, Women and people of low birth are
very hard to deal with. If you are friendly with
them, they get out of hand, and if you keep your
distance, they resent it (The Analects of Confucius,
Book XVI I, 25).
While the Asian women generally appear to be soft and fragile
and thus accepting their subservient role in the society,
there are other personality traits that are less visible
and less widely known to Westerners. The traits include
15
extraordinary persistence, tolerance, and strong will power,
as have been frequently manifested in numerous folklores
and legends of the three countries c The heroine in "Chunhyangjon",
for instance, resisted enormous temptations, threats and brutality
of a powerful governor of her town in order to realize her
faith and dream to reunite with her lover, Lee Doryong.
It is not unusual to find today loyal daughters who
sacrifice their own happiness by not marrying in order to
support their younger brothers and sisters. Some even
go into prostitution or other despised entertainment
jobs with strong determination and devotion to their families.
Thus, the combination of external fragility and
internal strength is considered to be the most desirable
virtue of Asian women. Although seemingly contradictory, the
two extreme qualities of the Asian women are internally
consistent; they are both deeply rooted in the cultural
conditioning over many centuries. Inferior from birth,
totally subjugated and controlled by men, the Asian women
learned to act submissive and docile, and at the same
time, to be tolerant and persistent.
It seems that our psychological strength grows through
hardships and that our coping ability becomes stronger
when we accept a given condition as inevitable. Similarly,
the Asian women cope with their life conditions with
Buddhistic fatalism and unquestioning acceptance of
"women's destiny."
Vomzn <Ln Family
All the formal indicators in the three societies
seem to point to the Confucian norm of complete male
domination and confinement of women's value within the
family. Traditionally, a typical woman's identity is
secured through her relationship with men. She is her
father's daughter, her husband's wife, and then her son's
mother. From the early childhood, girls learn the inferior
position of women by watching their own mothers'
attitudes toward their husbands. In almost all aspects
of the socialization process, discrimination and
differentiation between sons and daughters are explicitly
and implicitly present. Sons are regarded as far more
important than daughters; sons inherit the lineage,
prestige and fortunes of their families; sons are charged
with the responsibility of conducting services in memory
of their ancestors while girls are preparing the services;
only sons could become officials or make a living for
their fami I y.
When a girl is getting married, her parents teach her
to be absolutely submissive and loyal to her husband
and parents-in-law as she has been to her own parents, and
that, whatever difficulties she may face in her new
family, she should tolerate them with patience. In other
words, parents try to teach their daughter what are
16
considered most "proper" and "moral" conducts that all
"good" women should follow after marriage.
Unlike in many Western cultures, the hrusband-wi fe
relationship is subordinated and underplayed in comparison
with other household ties. A man continues his primary
allegiance to his parents and brothers, and the wife's
loyalties are dispersed among parents-in-law, husband,
and children. It is unseemly, bordering on indecent, for
a husband to show affection for his wife publicly; to
support her in a controversy or quarrel with his mother
would be not only a display of bad manners, but an offence
against a much more basic principle, filial piety. The
strict and indisputable authority of mother-in-law over
son's wife is typical of most households, and is referred
to in many parables as in the c'ase of the Korean wife
who "kicks the dog in the belly in malice towards her
mother-in-law."
Male heads of households are supposed to control
the family finance, make all important decisions, and
represent the family in all official contexts, except
perhaps in children's schools. The system does permit
a husband to mistreat his wife, or parents to exploit
their daughters-in-law, without much fear of retaliatory
actions. A double standard with regard to concubinage
and adultery of men is still often accepted. Divorce
is a shame and disgrace not only to the wife but to
her family. Therefore, when a woman wishes to divorce,
she does not think of the negative consequences in society
upon herself, as much as of the shame and bad reputation
on her family. Group consciousness and guilt over other
members of her original family are so strongly built in
the minds of the Asian women that, even today, there are
very few divorce cases initiated by women.
Commaniccition PatteAnA
As mentioned earlier, the three nations have been
influenced by their belief in Buddhism and Confucianism
(along with other local philosophical systems such as
Taoism in China and Shintoism in Japan). The Buddhistic
view of life and the Confucian interpretation of social
systems have influenced the communication patterns of
women (as well as men) in Far East Asia.
In both Buddhism and Confucianism, words are considered
limited in their power to convey true thoughts, ideas
and feelings. In Buddhism, language is considered deceptive
and misleading in the matter of understanding the truth;
it is always a question of knowing and seeing, and not
that of believing, which requires persuasive interpersonal
and intrapersonal communication through words. Similarly,
Confucianism cautions that one should not speak carelessly
and speech should be at the right time and place:
The Master said, if a gentleman is frivolous,
17
he will lose the respect of his inferiors and
lack firm ground upon which to build up his
education ( The Analects , of Confucius, Book I, 8).
Further, "Goodness" of human conduct itself was
considered identical with cautious and responsible
use of words:
Ssu-ma Niu asked about Goodness. The
Master said, the Good (jen) man is chary
(jen) of speech. Ssu-ma Nieu said, So
that is what is meant by Goodness — to
be chary of speech? The Master said,
Seeing that the doing of it is so difficult,
how can one be otherwise than chary of
talking about it? ( Analects, Book XI 1,3).
Even silence was preferred to useless and improper
words. The Buddha taught that if one cannot say some-
thing useful, one should keep "noble silence." The
same attitude is expressed in the Analects:
The Master said, Hear much, but maintain
silence as regards doubtful points and be
cautious in speaking of the rest; then you
will seldom get into trouble ( Analects, Book 11,18)
The teachings of the Buddha and Confucius are well
reflected in old sayings of the three societies. For
example, a Chinese parable says that "When a gentleman
has spoken, a team of four horses cannot overtake his
words." A similar parable is told in Korea: "A word of a
gentleman weighs a thousand pounds of gold."
The cautious attitude toward use of words is
manifested in the Asians' fondness for hesitance or ambi-
guities of expression. They hesitate or say something
ambiguous (to the ears of Westerners) when they fear
that what they have in mind might be disagreeable to
others or offend their feelings, especially when they
are superior in social status. Opinion formation is
primarily the responsibility of those who are elderly or
in a position of authority. Further, to the Asians,
hesitancy or silence is preferred to eloquent verbalization
even in expressing strong compliments or affection.
Sometimes they are suspicious of the genuineness of the
excessive praises or compliments. To them, truest
feelings do not need to be, nor can be, verbalized.
Cheng, a Chinese student in the United States, well
describes the Asian attitude toward American verbal forms:
The American feels obligated to make some
verbal comment to react to each situation.
For example, when eating, one should say,
"Oh, this is delicious!" or "My compliments
to the chef," or "Where did you get this
18
marvelous recipe!" ....The Asian is
unaccustomed to this kind of expression.
His first reaction to it is that the American
is a "big mouth" and the latter's friendship
and interpersonal relationships are all
equally superficial. (4)
The Asian expression, especially that of women, is
much more subtle, covert, and less physical than that of
American women in general. They have developed an extraor-
dinary sensitivity in intuitive understanding of feelings
of others as those feelings relate to themselves. This
involves a nonverbal understanding of the entire social
context within which each relationship is taking place,
and an understanding of the way in which such relation-
ships are expected to evolve. Such a communication
pattern is beautifully depicted in the work of the
Japanese Nobel ist, Yasunari Kawabata, Snow Country :
In Snow Country , the central character, Shimamura,
has sought retreat from the pressures of life
in a remote country inn, where he meets Komako,
a prostitute. Fven though Komako never declares
her love to Shimamura, she doesn't have to....
In one scene, Komako, mumbling incomprehensible
phrases about a party she has left, staggers
drunken I y into Shimamura' s room, gulps down
some water, and staggers back to the party.
To the Japanese, the scene is unforgettable,
because Kawabata manages to make the reader
sense that behind the curtain of Komako's
incoherent mumbling lies feelings of a blazing,
sou I -consuming intensity. (5)
Further, the Asians' intimate awareness of the
limitations of language make them place much importance
on rigorous mannerism and etiquette of communication. The
difference, in respect to communication attitudes
between the Western cultures and the Far Eastern culture,
is that V/esterners learn them unconsciously; whereas with
the Asians they are a subject of conscious interest and
attention. A high standard is set; gentility implies a
fastidious expertise in the niceties of bearing.
One of the basic principles which underlie
communication rules and manners is the relative position
of interactants in the hierarchical order of the society,,
When an Asian communicates with someone who is superior
to himself, the commonest method of symbolizing his
"smallness" as contrasted with the "greatness" of another
person is to "shrink" oneself. They developed a wide
range of bending and contractions, many of which were
specifically taught in the Ana I ects (especially Rook X).
The hierarchical status difference is well understood
by Asians as to who should do the speaking, under what
circumstances and in what manner.
19
It is, then, not difficult for one to understand
the communication attitudes and behaviors of the Asian
woman e When they communicate with their husbands,
parents, parents-in-law, older brothers and sisters,
or anyone who is expected to be higher in social status,
they tend to manifest all of the verbal and nonverbal
patterns of communication as discussed above. They
hesitate to express themselves verbally as well as non-
verbal ly, and speak humbly and modestly with appropriate
manners. Their ability to suppress feelings of anger,
sadness, bitterness, as well as joy and happiness, is
considered to be indicative of moderation, propriety, and
self-control, all of which are expected "virtues" of
women. In addition, having to notice the slightest feelings
of others and complexities of situations, they have
developed a highly sensitive and intuitive system of
interpersonal perception.
On the other hand, when the Asian women communicate
with their children, younger members of their family, or
anyone who is socially defined to be equal or lower in
status than themselves, many of the manners and attitudes
change accordingly. They are often assertive, articulate,
dogmatic, and less hesitant in expressing their feelings.
Also, the rigidity of communication norms become less
visible and distinct as interpersonal relationships become
more intimate and as communication situations become more
private. In fact, many Asian wives do share lively and
affectionate conversations with their husbands when they
are by themselves; male superiority is asserted in propor-
tion to the formality of the situation.
Conclusion
An increasing number of women are sent to colleges
and universities for higher education, and yet, they
do not get as good an education as men, nor are they
strongly motivated to do so. Most women go to women's
colleges, "finishing schools for brides." The majority
of women stay home after their formal education, and
the small proportion of women who do go into society
quit their jobs when they get married. The majority
of women remain uninterested in or even aware of
"women's rights" or possibilities of social accomplish-
ment based on their talent.
Mass media in the three Asian societies reinforce
the traditional male image of "ideal women" who are
obedient to man and confined to home. Fven some of
the more "liberated" women's magazines today are more
erotic and more concerned with consumption and urban
style of life rather than dealing with women's funda-
mental problems. They continue with the same kind of
complaining, confessions, and sentimental articles.
The attitude is not helpful to women — it is a kind of
catharsis, since women want something to console them, to
hear that other people are suffering from the same experiences,
20
In spite of the strong discrimination against
women's participation in society, a small number of
Asian women have made exceptions by becoming "women
pioneers" in various professions. These women
typically fall into one or more of the following
categories; (1) those who completely give up their
female identity by remaining single and by adopting
many male characteristics, (2) those who possess
exceptional talent or expertise that is far superior
to male co-workers, (3) those whose husband and
parents-in-law are exceptionally progressive and
generous, and (4) those who manifest highly tactful
communication skills not to offend the ego of their
husband and male co-workers.
The rigid cultural norms and sanctioning of
male superiority may have contributed to the stability
of the family and social systems of the three Asian
nations. The selfless devotion and love many Asian
women have demonstrated for their families throughout
their lives can be viewed as one of the most beautiful
and noble qualities of human life. And yet, there is an
important contrast between the forms of etiquette,
manner, or social discrimination on the one hand, and
actual human nature on the other. Women in Asian cultures
share all of the basic human feelings and needs with men.
The difference is that men are allowed to express their
thoughts and feelings freely to women, while women
cannot easily reciprocate their own to their counterparts
without risking some degree of psychological and social
safety. The frequent repression and vulnerability of
Asian women, instead, is expressed in their chronic
feeling of sadness, unhappiness and self-denial (although
they may not express these feelings publicly).
HOTUS
(1) See Melville J. Herskovitz, CULTURAL DYNAMICS
(New York: Alfred A. Knopf), 1966, 0.202.
(2) PLAYBOY MAGAZINE, 15, 12, December 1968
(3) Takamichi Ninomiya and D.J. Enright, THE POETRY
0E LIVING JAPAN (New York: Grove Press Inc.), 1957
(4) Agnes Cheng, "Clashes in courtship across culture,"
EAST WEST CENTER MAGAZINE (Summer 1974), pp.1 1-1/.
(5) Edward Hall, BEYOND CULTURE, (Garden City, New York:
Anchor Press ), 1976, p. 114.
21
mnLiOGMPUv
(1) Brandy, Vincent S.R. A Korean Village; Between Farm
and Sea . Cambridge, Mass.: Harvard University Press, 1971.
(2) Cathcart, Dolores S, Robert, "The Japanese social
experience and concept of groups." in Larry Samovar and
Richard Porter (eds), Intercul tura I Communication:
A Reader . Belmont, Calif.: Wadsworth Publishing Co.,
1Q76 (1972).
(3) Chang, Chung-yuan. Creativity and Taoism: A Study
of Chinese Philosophy, Art, and Poetry . New York:
Harper K Row, 1963
(4) Cheng, Agnes. "Clashes in courtship across cultures."
East-West Center Magazine, Summer 1974, pp.1 1-12
(5) Choi, Jal-Seuk. "Comparative study on the traditional
families in Korea, Japan, and China." in Reuben Hi I I
and Rene Konig, Families in East and West: Socialization
Process and Kinship Ties . Paris: Mouton & Co., 1970,
pp. 202-210
(6) Delassus, Jean-Francois. The Japanese : A Critical
Eva I uat ion of the Character and Cu I ture of a_ Peop le.
New York: Hart Publishing Co., 1970
(7) De Vos, George & Hiroshi Wagatsuma. "Value
Attitudes toward role behavior of women in
two Japanese villages." American Anthropologist,
Vol. 63, 1961, pp.' 1204-1230
(8) Hasegawa, Nyozekan. The Japanese Character :
A Cultural Prof i le . Palo Alto, Calif.: Kodansha
International, 1965.
(9) Iga, Mamoru, Joe Yamamoto 8, Thomas Noguchi.
"The vulnerability of young Japanese women and
sucide." Suicide, Vol.5, No. 4, 1975, pp. 207-222.
(10) Korea: Its People and Culture Hakwon-Sa Ltd. ,
Seoul, 1970
(11) Ninomiya, Takamichi & D.J. Enright. The Poetry
of Living Japan . New York: Grove Press Inc., 1957.
(12) Rahula, Walpola. What The Buddha Taught . New York:
Grove Press, Inc. 1962 (1959)
(13) Riesman, David & Evelyn , Conversation in Japan .
New York: Basic Books, Inc. 1967
(14) Snydez, Paul. "Prostitution in Asia." The Journal
of Sex Research, Vol. 19, No. 2, May 1974, pp. 119-127.
(15) Waley, Arthur. The Analects of Confucius. New York:
Vintage Bood, 1938
22
Gall M. St, liaAtln teaches F.ngLL&h
to International students at Louisiana
State. University, where, she completed
her M.A. and Ph,V a degrees , Her
majon. fields ofa Interest Include,
communication theory and research,
linguistic*, anthropology, and speech.
1 .. ■*•■ --
MALE/FEMALE COMMUNICATION IN THE UNITED STATES
b{/ Gall M. .'It. l\artln
It Is a truism that women are the talkers in
contrast to men who are the strong and silent listeners.
Not true. "In study after study men have been found to
speak more often and at greater length than women,"
says Nancy Henley in her illuminating book, Body Pol itics;
Power, Sex and Nonverbal Communication. In an earlier book
which Henley coauthored with Barrie Thorne a study was
reported in which subjects were given as much time as they
liked to describe stimulus drawings and the resulting
mean times were; for females, 3.17 minutes; for males,
13.0 minutes! Not only do males talk more in all types
of groups, they also interrupt other speakers more than
women do Male-female conversation is a very asymmetrical
arrangement. And to perpetuate this pattern the New
Seventeen Book of Etiquette, as recently as 1972, admonished
young ladies that they were not supposed to talk as much
as men do.
Men and women speak In different quantities and
also use different words. Thorne and Henley state that
in English sex differences in usage are "preferential,"
that is, they're a matter of frequency of occurance.
Cursing is a good example of this — women do — but men
do so more. Another example; women are more precise in
their pronunciation. A woman will end a gerund with
"-ing." while a man is often satisfied with "-in.".
In her Male/Female Language, Mary Ritchie Key suggests that,
"Apparently females attempt some kind of equilibrium by
reaching a higher status in language to compensate for
their low status as members of society."
Still dealing with vocabulary, women use more tag
questions than men do. "It's a beautiful day, isn't it?";
more "empty" adjectives, "divine dinner," "charming dress";
and both "so" and "such" as adverbial intensif iers,
"so pretty, such a nice party."
23
Male and female vocal intonation patterns differ
too. Males rarely use the highest level of pitch,
giving them three contrast ive levels to the usual
female four in English. This was shockingly illustra-
ted to me one day when a young Latin American male
student who spoke little English left my classroom
saying, "Bye-bye " with 4-2 intonation. The effect
was startlingly "effeminate." We spent part of the
next class talking about intonation patterns and
since then I've been using a more neutral form of
farewell, especially with beginning students.
Intonation pattern is not, as might be supposed,
a matter of physical maturity occurring after a
teenager's voice "changes". In a very interesting study
reported in Thorne and Henley's book the researcher
was able to demonstrate that even before puberty
male and female voices speaking sentences can
accurately be identified according to sex. This
would seem to suggest that we learn gender-specific
types of vocal intonation during childhood. It has been
reported often that, contrary to popular belief,
males display more gestures than do females regardless
of sex of the conversation partner. An analysis of
10,000 magazine photographs revealed that males are
five times more likely to perform an embrace than is a
woman. Further, another study showed that without
regard to gender, touch exchange is highest for lower
status target, next highest for peers and least for
persons of higher status, that is, men touch women
more than vice-versa and men touch lower status
individuals more than same and higher status ones.
One sort of nonverbal behavior is more common
among women than men — preening, for example, hair
stroking and clothes arranging. Among female college
students this sort of behavior is most pronounced
during conversation with a male partner. Other
characteristic female conversational positions are:
sitting with hands in lap; crossing legs at the ankle;
crossing legs at the knee. Strictly male gestures
are: cracking knuckles; sitting with both feet on
floor ankles apart; crossing legs ankle to knee;
stretching out legs with ankles crossed. You need
only to try on the "characteristic gestures" of the
opposite sex and have them feel somehow rather "wrong"
to recognize how very conditioned we are with regard
to gender-specific gestures.
Space use for females is less and less desirable
than for males. This principle and other relationships
are profusely illustrated by Goffman in his publication,
Gender Advertisements . What is true for space is also
true for time — the more powerful person in an encounter
will control the length of time and its use, Henley contends.
Being obliged to wait at the dentist's or doctor's is
an example. And in my experience, the doctor in whose
24
office I can plan to sit the longest is the gynecologist's,,
His clientele is doubly powerless — patients and females.
Why sex differences in the sending of nonverbal
messages exist is a matter of speculation. In his classic,
Kinesics in Context, Birdwhistle suggests that it is
because men and women are so much alike physically
that humans need to assume behaviors that will distinguish
between the sexes. Henley contends that differential
behavior is a matter of power and status and that the
behaviors expressing dominance and subordination between
nonequals regardless of sex parallel those used between
dominant males and subordinate females. Concerning the
ability to perceive nonverbal messages there is conflicting
evidence,, Most researchers find that females are more
sensitive. Perhaps they develop the greater sensitivity
in response to a need to read and read appropriately
the messages from those generally more in control.
Attitudes toward the gender of the person communicating
can significantly affect perception of the message.
Different groups of college students were exposed to
written articles, some being told that the authors
were male, others being told that the authors were female.
Both male and female readers rated the articles lower
when they believed that the authors were female. Being
male seems to make one somehow more credible.
It would seem that professionals whose primary
concern is psychology would be free of gender stereotypes.
They are not. Writing in the Journal of Consulting and
Clinical Psychology, Broverman reported that, "The
clinicians' concepts of a healthy mature man do not differ
from their concepts of a healthy mature adult. However...
clinicians' concepts of a mature healthy woman do differ
significantly from their adult health concepts." The
implications of this finding for the quality of mental
health care available for women are dismaying!
Looking at other aspects of American society,
we see that the lone business women in otherwise
all male peer groups often become deviants, isolates
or low status members of their groups. This happens
because of a special all-male peer group dynamic,
found in neighborhood bars and playing fields which
carries over into adult business work situations.
Women in the United States, until very recently, did
not have this kind of opportunity for leisure play.
In their best-seller, The Organizational Woman, Jardim
and Hennig recognize this same factor and claim that because
of the usual male team experience, males differ from
females in aggression, self-confidence, planning,
risk-taking and strategy. Women might, of course,
attempt to operate as men, with competitive and at
the same time team spirit, however, it seems that
throughout history society has viewed femininity and
achievement as incompatible goals.
25
A 1971 Modern Language Association survey of
418 colleges and universities revealed that women make
up 47* of the instructors, but only 75? of the full
professors. In an interview with one of these female
full professors I listened as she expressed the opinion
that academia was still to a large extent, "a man's
world," much as it was when she entered it in 1941.
Her index was the male-dominated editorships of learned
journals. She told of a year long battle to have the
women Ph.D.s in her department addressed as "Dr." as
were their male colleagues. Paradoxically, she felt
that she was treated as an equal within her department.
Responding to the increased awareness of male and
female roles within the last decade, there can be little
doubt that women are rethinking their roles in the family
and society. But the noted psychologist Eric Eriksen
suggests that some men may not be as open to role
redefinition. He says, "No doubt there exists among men
an honest sense of wishing to save at whatever cost a
sexual polar ity. . .which they fear may be lost in too
much sameness, equal ity. .or at any rate in too much
self-conscious talk."
Iris Murdock expresses her opinion in The Dlack
Prince when she writes, "Of course men play roles, but
women play roles too, blanker ones. They have in the
play of life, fewer good lines." Women in the United
States seem to be awakened to the situation Murdock
alludes to. At this time, however, they can do little
more than try to reinterpret their given roles. It
will be only as women may gain more power in society
that they will be able to participate in the conception
and scripting of their lives.
UOTES/mnLTOGRAPHV
(1) Ri rdwhi stel I , R. Masculinity and femininity as display,
in Kinesics in Context . Philadelphia: University
of Pennsylvania Press. 1970. p. 39-46
(2) Brend, R. M. Male-female intonation patterns of
American Fnglish. in Thorne & Henley (eds)
Language and Sex: Pi f ference and Dominance .
Rowley, Mass.: Newbury House, 1975. p. 86
(3) Duberman, L. Gender and Sex in Society . New York:
Prager. 1^75
(4) Erikson, E. Inner and outer space: reflections on
Womanhood. Daedul us . (Spring, 1964) p. 584
26
(5) Goffman, F. Gender Advertisements. Studies in the
Anthropology of Visua l Communication . 3, "Philadel-
phia: Society for the Anthropology of Visual
Communication. 1976.
(6) Goldberg, P. Are women prejudiced against women?
Transaction . (April, 1968) 5, p. 28-30
(7) Henley, N.M. Power, sex and nonverbal communication,
in Thorne and Henley (Eds.) Language and sex:
Difference and Dominance. Rowley, Mass.: Newbury
House, 1975. p. 184-203.
(8) Henley, N. Body Politics: Power, Sex and Nonverbal
Communication . Englewood Cliffs: Prentice Hall. 1977.
(9) Horner, M.S. & Walsh, M.R., Psychological barriers
to success in women. in Ruth B. Knudsin (ed.)
Women and Success: The Anatomy of Ach ievement.
New York: William Morrow and Co. 1974. p. 138-144.
(10) Key, M.R. Male/Female Language . Metuchen, N.J.:
Scarecrow Press. 1975. p. 104-105.
(11) Korda, M. Ma le Chauvinism! New York: Random House. 1973
(12) Lakoff, R. Language and Woman's Place . New York:
Harper Colophon Books. 1975.
(13) Mead, M. Male and Female . New York: William Morrow
1949. p. 8.
(14) Miller, C & Swift, K. Words and Women .
Garden City, New York: Anchor Press. 1977.
(15) Morris, D. Intimate Behavior . New York:
Random House. 1974. p. 22.
(16) St. Martin, G. Intercul tura I differential
decoding of nonverbal affective communication.
in Casmir,F. (Ed.) 'International and I ntercul tura I
Communication Annual, 1976, 3, p. 44-57.
(17) Thorne, B. & Henley, N. Language and Sex: Difference
and Dominance . Rowley, Mass.: Newbury House. 1975.
(18) Wolman, C. & Frank, H. The solo woman in a
professional peer group, in Frank, H. (Ed.)
Women in the Organization . Philadelphia:
University of Pennsylvania. 1977. p 246-255.
27
•
* a*
m
I
\ ± 1
Be^oie joi.vu.ng St, Cloud State.
UniveA&iJiy cut, A&6i&tant VnoheA&oh.
o& Corrmunijcation, Vk„ EJiika Vofux
taught at the State. UniveAixLty
oh Hew Vofih. at Bu^ato wheAe.
the. necei.ve.d heA Vh,V, in communi-
cation. Since heA oAAival Ifiom
WeAt GeAmany, khe. 12.cQA.ved WaAteAb
degficeA in English LiteAotuAe and
Se.condan.ij Education h^om the.
UniveA&ity o& TbiidgepoAt, Conn,
She. t& active, and inteAeAtcd in
the. hi^Zd oh inteAcultuAal
comnunicatio n.
MALF/FEMALE COMMUNICATION IN WEST GERMANY
by EAika Vohja
We're all born equal. However, are men supposed
to be more equal than women? No matter how the laws
try to artificially equalize the sexes, have the basic
values, beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors of men toward
women really changed toward equality? Of special
concern are patterns of interaction between men and
women during maturity, specifically during courtship,
in the home after marriage, and in professional
act Ivi t ies.
People in West Germany are especially interesting
for the study of male/female communication patterns.
As one of the most developed and dynamic nations in the
world Germany is typical of many western countries.
Rut Germany also has the Prussian heritage of women
being subserviant to men. This paternalistic tradition
is reflected by Germans referring to their country as
their Vater land (fatherland) rather than motherland.
In 1870, the Bavarian statute book revealed: By
marriage, the wife comes under the authority of her
husband and the law (Gewalt) allows him to chastise her
moderately. Women, with the exception of the mother
and grandmother, are unfit to be guardians, as are minors,
lunatics, and spend-thrifts. The laws of Prussia
stated: "Children may not marry without the consent
of the father." The mother was of no account in giving
up her daughter. By marriage, the husband also obtained
control of the wife's fortune so that whatever she
earned before or during her marriage belonged to her
husband. He had the right to squander all of it, but
she might not spend a penny of what once was her own!
Should she wish to divorce: Bodily ill treatment
may be cause for divorce if it endangers the health
or life of the wife e (1) These laws reflect the
strength of convictions and common laws imbedded in
the German society at that time affirming the
28
superiority of the male and, therefore, extraordinary
rights for the male compared to those for the female,,
The Prussian heritage gave a man authority and influ-
ence over women in all phases of life including
courtship, the home, and professional activities.
Belief in the superiority of the German man over
the German woman persists even today. In a recent
national study, 400 German men responded to a series
of questions asking what they thought about themselves
their mates, women in general, career and family, as
well as equal rights for women and men. The sample
represented a cross section of West German working men
between twenty and fifty years of age. A major finding
of this study was that the German man wants to give
orders; he wants to be in charge; he wants to be the
boss in his interactions with a woman. Male/female
communications In West Germany are greatly affected by
the perception and belief of the man that he is indeed
superior to women. (2)
Communication VuAing Cou/utAkip
The German man wants to be the leader and
intiator when courting a woman. In an interview of
ten men and ten women in West Germany, subjects were
asked about their preferences in initiating
romantic communications. All the men preferred to
approach the woman (rather than vice versa), ask her
for a date, drive the car, order the wine, and pay
the bill at a restaurant. They also expected to be
the first in initiating a kiss. The women agreed that
generally they let a man take the first step in
romantic encounters.
The German male communicates his affection not
only verbally, but also nonverbal ly by surprising his
lady with flowers, wine, or other small gifts to remind
her of him, or bring her pleasure. The woman shows her
appreciation and affection nonverbal ly by dressing
specially for her date, looking her best and wearing
his gifts. Verbal ly, she might comp I iment him on his
thoughtful ness or good taste. On a date, the man
usually showers his lady with compliments and centers
his attention on her. He seeks to make his date feel
special, and she reciprocates.
The characteristics sought in a mate by German
men and women suggest the desire for male superiority.
A study of 230 German men indicated that four out of
five explicitly or implicitly desired younger mates;
two out of three desired shorter women, while one in
five desired a loving and affectionate mate. (3)
In the personal interviews, all ten men were
appalled by an aggressive woman who would ("God forbid")
initiate love making. When asked to name an
29
undesirable characteristic of a woman in courtship,
aggression was the most dominant. The men expressed the
desire and need to conquer. Once again, women agreed that
usually they let the man take the aggressive role.
Males preferred mates with less general intelligence,
education, and a lower social status than their own. The
beliefs, values, attitudes, and perceptions expressed by
both sexes agreed upon these differences. Women
wanted mates to whom they could look up, with more
education and possibly more intelligence. Such differences
led their male/female communications to be mostly one
way (from man to woman), authoritarian and limiting
in scope. The man would usually make decisions and then
tell his mate. He limited communications by not discussing
certain events of his life which he considered below her
intelligence or to be kept from her for her own
protect ion.
i Communication in tkz. Home
The German man is the boss at home. He has no wish
for a "real" partner. He likes to control the flow of
communication within his home. The national survey
indicated that a husband in Germany expects his wife to
distract him from his tensions as soon as he comes home
from a day's work. Any complaints she might have about
the children, rising prices, or any unpleasant topic,
should wait until later in the evening when Vater (father)
is ready.
Men do not discuss their jobs with their wives.
"My wife does not know about my professional life. She
knows the people I work with, but she does not know the
problems that arise in the office; and she does not need to
know these anyway. There is no need to bother her with
that" is the generally accepted view among German men.
"A 'real' woman wants very much to have a boss in the house,
a man who can make decisions." "I would be terribly
embarrassed to ask my wife for money." "In some areas
in marriage, it is most important that the man sets the
rules, simply because women - if you excuse me- think
somehow i I logical I y." "Whenever I think of women's libera-
tion, I can only smile. Every woman wants to have a man.
A woman can only feel fulfilled at the side of a man."
"At home, I confess, I am the boss." (4)
Communication Between Vh.oh<Lt>t>ional Men and Women
The German man generally believes that he has not
only stronger nerves and muscles, but that he is also
intellectually and emotionally superior. Only one
percent of the German men in the national survey would
welcome a female boss. Many positions are not open to
women, as specifically stated in the following responses
to female applicants: "I am sure you will understand
that the physical and psychological stress in selling our
goods is too high for a woman." "As you can see from our
30
advertisement, we are looking for a male co-worker to fill
this position." (5)
One problem discussed by the German women interviewed
was the difficulty the professional woman encounters when
looking for a job in Germany compared to her male counter-
part. It is like "shadow boxing with male competition."
Even though careers seem to be available to both sexes in
various areas, there are distinct limitations for advance-
ment of women beyond the first rung of the ladder. Dealing
with men professionally on an equal basis is not an easy
task for a German woman, since she is often confronting
resentment or a preconceived notion that she might not
be able to perform as wel I as a man.
Aggressiveness, even for a woman in the professions,
is not considered a positive trait in Germany. Among the
women interviewed, one female professor and one lawyer
confessed that they often tried very hard not to appear
to be too dominant in a predominantly male group discussion.
This meant they kept fairly quiet, listened to the men and
handled their disagreements very carefully.
Four out of five female professionals interviewed
revealed that they felt in a bind in terms of not ever
quite knowing how they should act with their male colleagues.
Feminine dress and a warm and friendly manner were often
misunderstood. Some had resorted to wearing tailored
clothes to down-play femininity and appear more professional.
In doing so, they were either regarded as "manly," or they
attracted those men intrigued by aloofness in women. All
twenty male and female interviewees agreed that the German
man still looks at women primarily as sex symbols. Here
lie the major obstacles for professional women in Germany.
Cultural conditioning and sexual attraction make the man
look at his female colleague as a woman first, and then
as a professional. This creates communication barriers
making it difficult to ideally relate to one another, or
be professional equals. For the German man, the professional
woman is a relatively new phenomenon. He perceives her as
invading a world in which he has traditionally been the ruler,
And women too, have always seen men as the professionals.
In a society where the woman's role is faithful helper
to her husband, it is most difficult for a man to be
introduced as, "the husband of Mrs. Jones!" He definitely
needs a strong self-concept to stand in a society constantly
looking for any sign that the husband of a successful career
woman is dass er unter dem Pantoffel steht (that he is
"hen-pecked"). A true partnership, where both man and
woman grow to the best of their potential is still extremely
rare in West Germany. Professional women are often reserved,
if not defensive, in their interactions with their male
peers because the society and the world of men are not ready
to accept the professional eaualitv.
31
ConcliUxLon
The German man of today thinks in principle as
his father and grandfather did. In his mind, not very
much has basically changed in regard to women. "Women
are not quite equal, but are creatures somewhere between
man and child." (6) Although there always will be
exceptions to these findings results essentially represent
the realities of male/female relationships in West Germany.
Communication patterns between V/est German men and women reflect
the supremacy notion of one over the other. Male/female
communications are usually downward, but rarely horizontal,
on an equal basis. Content and channels of communication
are generally selected and controlled by men. Overall, male/
female communications in V/est Germany are a far cry from
being open and conducive to personal and professional
growth of either person in the partnership.
WTES/REEERU1CES
(1) T. Stanton, Women Question in Europe (Mew York:
G.P. Putnam's Son, 1970), p. 159
(2) U. Lebert, "Der Deutsche Mann," Briqitte Mit Constanze,
Feb. 1977, pp. 154-162.
(3) Erika Vora and Jay Vora, "A cross-cultural study of
mate recruiting through mass media," Handbook of
I ntercu I tura I Communication, Molefe Asante, et. al ,
eds. (Beverly Hills, Calif.: Sage Publications, 1978).
(4) U. Lebert, Ibid.
(5) Regina Fischbeck, "Nur Mannl iche Erwarber erwunscht,"
Briqitte Mit Constanze, Feb. 1977, pp. 128-134.
32
ClaAa Sue KtAweJUL aa AaocMxtz
PtotfeiAo* tn tlativz AmeAtcan Studies,
at UntveAixUty of, CalLfioAnta, fteAhzf.ey .
She. fizcoAvzd heA Vh.XL In IliAtoKy o£
Sctznce. at UniveAAiXy o& Oklahoma.
HeA cuAAznt n.eAeaAe.h intoAZ&tb ^ocui
on 6OCAJ1Z and cuItuAal iAbiieA ojj the
Amesvlcan Indian*.
AMERICAN INDIAN WOMEN: PROBLEMS OF COMMUNICATING
A CULTURAL/SEXUAL IDENTITY
by ClaAa Sue. KAdiaeJU
In an article published in 1901, Joseph Gilfillan,
Episcopalian missionary in Minnesota, described the Ojibwe
Indians: the male was tall and graceful, bounding through
the forest unburdened except for his bow and arrow, the
female was short, and rotund, plodding along bearing a
tremendous burden on her back. Gilfillan attributed the
squat, rotund stature of the woman to the fact that genera-
tions of Ojibwe women had born such burdens, and in some
evolutionary sense seemed to be squashed down by them„(1)
The stereotype of the woman in traditional Indian
cultures has generally been that of the patient squaw,
trudging silently behind her man. Much of that persists
in modern society. She is still often viewed as confined
to the role of wife and mother. Indian women do indeed
fulfill the traditional child bearing role. In 1970
Indian women had the highest yearly rate (3%) of natural
increase of any population subgroup in the United States. (2)
The Indian family has more children and a lower income than
any other group. The Indian woman's median income in 1970
was $1,697 per year. For all U.S. women it was $2,404, all
U.S. men $6,614.(3)
Much of the role of Indian women today is influenced
by poverty, which is more a result of her status as an
Indian rather than as a woman. But within Indian societies,
women's roles are also to a large degree defined on the
basis of cultural expectations differing from those of
modern American society. In traditional American Indian
cultures, which were non-technological and based
directly on human labor for production of food and
material goods, the roles of men and women were
considered to be complementary. Women were keepers
of the home, child bearers, and food gatherers, and
men were hunters and protectors of the home. Agri-
cultural societies generally tended to be matri lineal
33
because farming was women's work (except in the Pueblos,
where men and women either shared the labor or men
farmed exclusively). Where women controlled the major
source of food supply, they generally also controlled
the inheritance of personal property and owned the
family dwelling as well. In hunting and gathering
societies, the man's role was generally the most import-
ant in terms of public acknowledgement or display of
personal qualities of bravery and honor, while women, as
keepers of the home, exercised considerable influence
in their own domain. Although marriage was arranged by
male relatives, once married a woman could exercise a
great deal of freedom in her future. Mountain Wolf
Woman, a Menominee girl, was told by her mother, who was
preparing her for marriage to a man she disliked, that
whe must do what her brothers wanted her to do or else she
would disgrace them. However, her mother added, "When you
are older and know better, you can marry whomever you
yourself think that you want to marry. "(4) And indeed that is
what Mountain Wolf Woman did.
The processes of acculturation that have accompanied
contact between Indian and non- Indian societies have greatly
undermined the integrity of Indian societies. Education
and Christ ian izat ion have already destroyed much of the
Indian traditions, but there is a persistence of Indian
identity in America that cannot be denied. In the 1970
census 763,594 people identified themselves as American
Indians. Of those, 388,210 were female. (5) The Bureau
of Indian Affairs currently recognizes 481 Indian tribal
entities. (6)
Anthropologists studying the impact of acculturation
on American Indians have often concluded that Indian women
are affected less than Indian men because the roles of wives
and mothers are less challenged than those of men forced to
give up their traditional hunter and warrior roles to
compete in a wage based economy. (7) Indian women do indeed
continue to play important roles in their communities as
wives and mothers. Yet because the women's liberation
movement in modern American society has generally portrayed
those roles as confining and unrewarding, many women
desiring to be liberated from those roles also see women
who fulfill those roles as being confined and unfulfilled.
It is at this point that sterotypes and preconceptions
become barriers to cross-cultural communication. If
feminists see themselves as the victims of a male-
dominated society, they cannot assume that American
Indian societies are male dominated in the same way
as their own. If they see the roles of wife and
mother as unrewarding, they cannot assume that the
system of rewards of the Indian community is the same
as that of the dominant society.
A former president of the University of Minnesota,
delivering his final commencement address to the student
body of the University in 1974, stated that the women's
34
liberation movement had brought about the most sweeping
social changes of any movement in America in the last decade.
It is obvious that any movement making basic changes in
relationships within a society is going to cause basic
cultural changes — in patterns of child rearing begavior, in
the structure of the family, in the economic patterns of
the country. To assume that Indian women need or wish to
be liberated from traditional family-based roles is to assume
that Indian cultures should be changed to conform to
majority expectations. How to communicate that this is
not necessarily the case is a problem, especially when
confronting an audience of feminists. But perhaps it is
too much of an assumption, indeed it is a form of stereotyping,
to say that Indian women all share a common sense of
identity and values, and that they will all react to the
feminist movement as something opposed to Indian values.
There Is a wide range of variation in Indian cultures and
historical experiences of Indian tribes. It is impossible
to define a unique Indian identity, and Indian woman are
individuals within their own tribal groups.
In a questionnaire that I distributed recently,
part of a study on the status of Indian women in higher
education, I asked the respondents to describe in their
own words what they felt was the typical role of a
woman in her own tribal culture. Of the 61 female
Indian college students who responded, 24 said that the
woman was expected to be wife and mother and to take care
of the home. Several also commented that the woman
was often expected or forced to take a job to help the
family financial ly Ten felt that men and women were
equal, several commenting that each individual was
expected to do his or her best. Other responses were
varied. Two stated that they came from tribes having a
matri lineal tradition where women played very important
roles. Five said they acted without reference to tribal
culture. Twelve made no response at all or said they
didn't know. Survey results indicated a wide latitude
in women's knowledge of or definition of women's roles
in their tribal culture. Thus, while a woman may strongly
identify herself as being Indian, she may not identify
with a particular role as an Indian woman. The
survey was conducted among Indian students in colleges
or universities, certainly a non-typical group of
Indian women (if any group of Indian women can be
said to be "typical "). But I think the responses do
indicate the variability in cultural /sexual identity
p'ossible. One common factor among the women who I
surveyed is that they are almost all in college with
the intention of entering some kind of service profession,
i.e., teaching, social work, health, guidance and
counseling, and law. A number indicated their career
would involve working with Indian people. If the fields
of education, counseling and social work have, in the
academic world, traditionally been entered by a large number of
of women, the Indian women do not seem to view them as
traditional female options but as areas in which they
35
can serve Indian people.
A misconception affecting all minority women in
professional areas is that the minority woman has an
advantage in the job market even over minority men.
There is some evidence that a college education may
be the key to greater opportunities for Indian women
than for white women. According to 1970 census
statistics, 7.8 percent of all American women have had
four or more years of col lege, and 16 percent of those
are employed in professional or technical positions. (8)
However, in terms of overall participation in the labor
market, the unemployment rate for Indian women in 1970
(10.2 percent) was twice as high as for all women. Interestingly,
though, the unemployment rate for Indian women nationally
and in rural areas was lower than the unemployment rate for
Indian men, a situation not existing for any other group
in the population. (9) Thus college educated Indian woman
may indeed have a better chance to enter a profession than
a college educated white woman. Generally, Indian women
are more likely than Indian men to be employed. However,
whether this is a desirable situation is guest ionable. If
these 1970 statistics mean that Indian women are more likely
than Indian men to be hired, perhaps the situation is
undesirable since women are being forced to leave their
homes and enter the job market. The woman must thus assume
the traditional role of wife and mother and support the family.
Considering the high levels of unemployment overall for
Indian men and women, the low family incomes, and the
high birth rate, the fact that the women are working is
probably not a matter of liberation from a confining
role at home but one of sheer necessity.
Communication strategies for Indian women are as
varied as the women themselves. Factors involved in a sense
of cul tural/sexua I identity may be language differences,
participation in tribal ceremonials (i.e. female puberty rites),
residence on a reservation, or they may be identity with one's
family and friends and attendance at week-end pow-wows in
an urban area. There may be strong pressure to get married.
Indeed, according to the 1970 census, Indians do marry
earlier and have families earlier than the general
population, and their families are generally larger. (10)
On the other hand, many Indian women college students do
not necessarily identify the role of wife and mother as
the traditional woman's role in their tribal culture.
They feel free to make career choices for themselves
rather than with any reference to a typical Indian woman's
role. The most important communication strategy for
Indian women is displaying pride in one's identity
and performing with skill and competence the functions
of one's role, be it wife and mother, lawyer, or teacher.
Indian women within their own communities have
their strategies of communication generally
associated with the respect for the role of wife and
mother. Expectations are strong that the individual
will marry, and although attitudes toward marriage
36
and divorce may differ from those of the majority
society in many cases, the extended family (several
generations of the family living in close proximity
to each other in a reservation community, or even an
urban area) still provides continuity in family life.
The Indian woman who leaves the family to pursue a
professional career or to seek a college degree often
does so with the intention of preparing herself in
some way to serve Indian communities. Her strategies
of communication with the academic or professional
community in which she moves may be attempts to inform
people about Indian values or traditions that help to
break the stereotypes of Indians still persisting in
textbooks and the media. The very presence of competent,
skilled Indian women in academic and professional
settings is thus a strategy in itself.
A group of Indian women who are faculty members
in colleges or universities or involved in professional
programs was surveyed in connection with my study on
the status of Native American women in higher education.
Their reasons for seeking advanced degrees were varied,
but all in one way or another said, that they intend to help
Indian students through college. Several mentioned that
they tried to represent the concerns of Indian people to
non-Indians. Two definitely felt that part of their
impact was # as one said, that she was a role model of a
competent and successful Indian woman, and as the
other said, she was the only Indian woman that many people
said they had ever known.
As varied as their experiences and their present
lives are, the identities of the women I have interviewed
and surveyed are shaped by the fact that they are Indian.
Their studies, their work, and their concerns are in
most cases related in some way to Indian students or
Indian communities. They communicate a good deal of
their identities in their choices of career and their
commitments to Indian people.
NOTES /REVEREUCES
(1) Joseph G. Gilfillan, The Ojibwe in Minnesota,
Col lections of the Minnesota Historical Society,
IX (St. Paul, Minnesota: Published by the Society,
1901), p. 58.
(2) Sar A. Levitan and William B. Johnston, I nd ian
Giving, Federal Programs for Nat i ve Americans
(Baltimore: The Johns Hopkins University Press, 1975),
pp. 54-55.
37
(3) Office of Special Concerns, Office of the Assistant
Secretary for Planning and Evaluation, Department
of Health, Education and Welfare, A Study of Selected
Socio-economic Characteristics of Ethnic Minorities
. Based on the 1970 Census, Vol. Ill: American Indians
(HEW Publication No. (OS) 75-122, July 1974) P. 59.
(4) Nancy Oestreich Lurie, ed., Mountain Wolf Woman,
Sister of Crashing Thunder: The Autobiography of
a Winnebago Indian (Ann Arbor: The University of
Michigan Press, 1961), pp. 29-30.
(5) United States Bureau of the Census, Census of Population :
1970, Subject Reports, Einal Report PC920-1E, American
I nd ians (Washington, D.C.: U.S. Government Printing
Office 1973), Tablel, p.1.
(6) United States Department of the Interior, Bureau of
Indian Affairs, "You Asked About. • Eacts About American
Indians and Alaskan Natives," (pamphlet, 1963), p. 1
(7) See, for example, Louise S„ Spindler, "Menominee
Women and Culture Change," American Anthropological
Association Memoir 91 (Menasha, Wisconsin: American
Anthropological Association, 1962), P. 45.
(0) Office of Special Concerns, P. 56.
(9) Ibid., P. 53c
(10) Ibid., p. 45.
THE RAVEN
Northwest American Indian Family Totem
38
FROM THE EDITOR'S FLIGHT CAR IN
On my way to catch the KIM flight to Amsterdam
I stop in the airport news-stand to buy a book for rcadinq
in flight and pick up Marilyn French's The Women ' s
Room. On my right is a trim grey-haired woman of
about seventy, on her way to visit her children and
grandchildren in Frankfurt. On my left is a young
mother with a year old baby. In the next row is a
girl of eighteen on her way to Israel. All four of
us are reading The Women's Room ! Which leads to
interesting conversation. There cannot be another
book this season that is capturing so much attention
among women of all ages and stages of life. French's
novel is powerful and upsetting. She reminds us
that we have not come such "a long way, baby". One
remembers that millions of women who followed the
Old Religion were burned as witches in order to
establish male dominance in religion and medicine.
Will there be blood in the streets again? The
implications of the articles on sex role and communi-
cation in this issue do not offer much to cheer us
up either.
Perhaps it is the snow muffled cold of winter
that enters the heart with a spasm of dread. D erhaps
we need a longer perspective. Let's recall the earliest
human memories of the times of the "ancient harmonies"
of druids and Earth Goddesses and the records of
humane matriarchies from Stonehenge to ancient Crete
and the islands of the wine-dark Aegean sea. The
great wheel of history is turning. We shall emerge
again in healing power, we shall bless and care for
the earth and all its living creatures. We shall,
together with sensitive men who are open to emotional
experience, restore the Yin/Yang balance to life. A
male colleague assures me that men's consciousness-
raising groups are becoming a national phenomenon,
that men are changing too, are challenging stereotyped
rigid and demeaning sex roles, that there will be a
National Conference of Men's Gatherings to form an
organization that will be the male equivalent of NOW.
Under these deep drifts of snow, the colors of Spring
tulips are sleeping, waiting, gathering energy to burst forth,
Courage Sisters.
lleZzn I higher
39
The
Creatine
SaJoman
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